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Kim Hildreth:
So a lot of times the first step to becoming aware is reflection, because you're not able to be aware of it in the moment.
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Kim Hildreth:
You're only able to be aware of it once it's already happened.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's like when you're being able to be a little bit aware when you're dreaming, like journaling about it can be really helpful, helpful or just having conversations about it with people and kind of like reflecting on what happened.
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Kim Hildreth:
And eventually you're going to start to be aware in the moment when it's happening.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I love that question.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think practical applications, this stuff are really missed sometimes.
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Mark Burik:
What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Better At Beach Volleyball Podcast.
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Mark Burik:
My name is Mark Burik.
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Mark Burik:
Today we are interviewing volleyball pro and health and nutrition coach Kim Hildreth, who came from Florida, comes from Florida, and she had a tremendous couple of years on the NVL long ago, and in 2019 had an absolute breakout year on the AVP.
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Mark Burik:
And we're here to pick her volleyball health and nutrition brain and see what we can glean from her game, her experience.
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Mark Burik:
So I hope you guys are ready for a fantastic interview.
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Mark Burik:
Without further Ado, I'd like to present my guest for the day, Kim Hildreth.
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Mark Burik:
What's going on? Hey, how's it going? Thousands of people are firing up.
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Mark Burik:
I just want to say Hi.
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Mark Burik:
We're talking off camera a little bit about credit card points for travel and these young rookies who don't even have a travel credit card and giving away free points.
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Mark Burik:
And I know that you don't just have knowledge in travel, but you have a ton of wealth of knowledge for volleyball, beach volleyball, as well as your company.
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Mark Burik:
I believe the email address is healthcoachingwithkim.
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Mark Burik:
Is that right?
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, the website healthcoachingwithkim.com. That's my business.
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Mark Burik:
Awesome.
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Mark Burik:
I can't wait to get into that.
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Mark Burik:
And I'd love to have you on the other podcast once we get running with that.
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Mark Burik:
It's called entrepreneur Athlete.
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Mark Burik:
It's people who turn their sport passion into their career, and maybe we can hook up again for that.
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Mark Burik:
But for today, I just wanted to give, like a small, brief little interview of when and why did you start playing.
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Mark Burik:
Let's call it volleyball and beach volleyball.
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Kim Hildreth:
I started playing volleyball because my older sister Tina played.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm the youngest, and so both my older sisters played.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I was always at the gym watching them play.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think that's probably most people sports story is like watching somebody else do it.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I started playing totally fell in love.
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Kim Hildreth:
I don't know what it is about keeping the balloon off the floor.
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Kim Hildreth:
That's like so fun, but that's always been just found an early passion for it.
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Kim Hildreth:
And then I actually started playing beach volleyball going into my freshman year of College in Michigan.
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Kim Hildreth:
I was playing in high school in the summer.
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Kim Hildreth:
I found out that there was more volleyball I could play in the summer than just volleyball camps.
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Kim Hildreth:
That I could play like grass tournaments and grass leagues and stuff.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I kind of got in with the local adult community when I was like 16 or 17 years old and started playing some of those tournaments, like grass triples, grass fours.
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Mark Burik:
So you cut your teeth in Michigan.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Mark Burik:
Was the move to Florida the recent as an adult? Was it for volleyball?
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Kim Hildreth:
Yes. So I ended up moving to Florida initially to play.
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Kim Hildreth:
I got to sneak in one year of beach volleyball in College and I played at the University of North Florida.
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Kim Hildreth:
That was my first move to Florida.
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Kim Hildreth:
And then kind of from there I was finishing up my master's degree and needed to get kind of an internship job with the University.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I landed a spot at the University of South Florida, which was what brought me to Tampa.
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Kim Hildreth:
And then when I moved to Tampa, I found Kristin Batt, Megan Wallins, Cher Harris, Raquel Pereira preponder, Lima.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm like, wow, there's really badass volleyball players here.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I kind of started training with all those vets like OGS, and that's what really got me into it.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I definitely considered moving to California around that time too.
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Kim Hildreth:
But my family's in Michigan, so just super far, I was definitely broke from finishing my Masters and everything.
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Mark Burik:
So you figured why not pick up volleyball?
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, right. When I said that's, around the time I started playing NBL and I actually started making more money on the NBL and playing like, local Florida tournaments than I was making at my internship.
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Kim Hildreth:
And so as soon as I capped out, I was potentially going to continue working there.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, I was an academic counselor for the athletic Department at the University of South Florida, but I was like an intern at that level.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I was making hourly something and I was like, I'm making more money playing tournaments and coaching.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, volleyball is fun.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm like 22.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm just going to keep playing and see where this goes.
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Kim Hildreth:
And it went well, so I kept playing.
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Mark Burik:
That's awesome.
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Mark Burik:
I think you're one of the few that goes from their part time job and can say I'm actually netting more from volleyball.
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Mark Burik:
I mean, huge kudos for that.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
I mean, living in Florida, honestly, is what made that possible because there are tournaments in Florida every single weekend.
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Kim Hildreth:
I was making the finals pretty consistently, so I'm making anywhere between 200 and $500 a weekend, like playing in tournaments.
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Kim Hildreth:
And then I was getting a buttload of experience playing, playing, playing.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, I was still rather new to the beach game at the time, so I feel like I got a lot of games.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think the first year I literally played like over 40 tournaments in one year.
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Kim Hildreth:
Oh, yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
Actually, I'd play a full tournament on Saturday and then I play full tournament on Sunday, and now I'm like twelve games deeper into my veteran status.
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Mark Burik:
That's unreal.
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Mark Burik:
I remember coaching this USA Performance Camp, and one of the coaches because I'm not very involved in juniors, and they looked at the girls and they're just like, okay, just raise your hand.
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Mark Burik:
I forget what conversation we're having, but raise your hand if you played over 50 tournaments and everybody's hands went up and I looked the guy next to me, I go, you said 15, right? And he goes, no.
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Mark Burik:
50.
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Mark Burik:
And this was in like a six month period because the thing was in the fall and they were talking about summer.
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Mark Burik:
Raise your hand if you played over 50 tournaments this summer and these juniors are doing exactly what you did where they can get 50 tournaments in a few months in a summer.
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Mark Burik:
And I was like, that's obnoxious.
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Mark Burik:
How is that even possible in the summer? I said, oh, well, the juniors now, they have tournaments on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday summer.
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Mark Burik:
And my mind was blown that level of experience.
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Mark Burik:
I got this a 16 year old has more tournament experience than I do at 35.
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Mark Burik:
And I was like, what?
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah. I mean, I learned a lot that summer.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think if you look at my AVP America list of partners, it is like a mile long.
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Kim Hildreth:
I played with so many people that year and really, like, learned I think I just learned how to win, you know, and I learned a lot of different kinds of volleyball.
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Kim Hildreth:
And like, the more you learn about your side of the net.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, I played a lot of small ball.
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Kim Hildreth:
I played with brand new blockers.
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Kim Hildreth:
I played with veteran blockers who might not be as quick.
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Kim Hildreth:
I learned a lot of stuff on my side that helps me play against teams like that now because I know what it's like.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I feel like it gave me a lot of perspective on the game, playing with so many different people.
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Kim Hildreth:
And it didn't hurt that I was only paying like $400 a month in rent because of Florida.
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Kim Hildreth:
Florida.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I was paying my bills and putting money away and having a great summer.
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Mark Burik:
That's so awesome.
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Mark Burik:
Can we unpack that a little bit about learning from different types of players? Because I think there are two schools of thought, and one of them is that, hey, learn how to stick with a partner and figure out problems with them instead of the typical, like, I guess beach volleyball pro mindset in the US of something's wrong with my partner.
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Mark Burik:
So I'm going to find somebody else next week.
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Mark Burik:
That's why we didn't win.
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Mark Burik:
It can't be my fault.
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Mark Burik:
Instead of sticking in the discomfort like you had to in College or any other team for four or five years and say, this is my family, these are their quirks.
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Mark Burik:
This is what we have to fix or deal with.
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Mark Burik:
Do you think that there's more value in playing with multiple people or is there more value in sticking through with a teammate and trying to figure out how to solve those uncomfortable problems.
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Kim Hildreth:
Well, I did both, so I think there's a point in your career where you need to stick with a partner to really break into, like a top five team kind of situation, because Olympic qualification wise, that's the way it works.
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Kim Hildreth:
You have to figure it out with a partner, but I think when you can and when you're younger and still figuring out the game, I think there is higher value potentially in playing with a lot of different people, but it also takes a lot of maturity to play with the same person for a really long time because it becomes like a really intense relationship.
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Kim Hildreth:
So you need to be able to communicate, you need to be able to have hard conversations, go through ups and downs with somebody.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I definitely think there's value in both, but I think you can reach the top either way.
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Kim Hildreth:
But I do think for me, I really like I still to this day, like, pull on lessons that I learned from situations of playing with different kinds of people with different needs.
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Kim Hildreth:
I feel like the more I've played with different people, the more I've learned about who my opponents are.
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Kim Hildreth:
Not necessarily like that my partner was my opponent, but the more I know about how different people are and how they react differently to different situations or what they need on the set or, like, what their options are on offense or what they're capable of doing on defense because of their athletic ability, size, maturity, age, whatever.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think I just have this database of ability to strategize differently and know a little bit more intimately, like, who my opponents are because of that.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I think it's very valuable.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm kind of, like halfway into already doing that this year, like playing with a bunch of different people in the last year or so.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think there's a lot to be learned by that for sure.
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Mark Burik:
Yeah.
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Mark Burik:
I think there's a ton of value in hearing how other people think about the game at a certain point.
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Mark Burik:
I think a lot of people think 98% the same at our level, and we're thinking about ABP fib.
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Mark Burik:
I think there's all those basics that everybody needs and has locked in where they want to pass setting.
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Mark Burik:
I think everybody sets are usually pretty unique as far as what they want and what they expect, but there's always that other 2% when you play with somebody new that you're like, oh, that's what you do there.
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Mark Burik:
Yeah, okay, we could try that.
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Mark Burik:
That's not what I do.
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Mark Burik:
And then your uncomfortable conversations that you talked about, I think those are crucial, and I don't see those enough, and I think they're tough for a lot of people to actually have that conversation of, no, I want to do this instead of just kind of giving way to your partner and where they're comfortable.
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Mark Burik:
So how do you broach the conversation? If you're in a situation where you want a completely different thing in a play, then your partner thinks is right or thinks is correct, how do you tackle that?
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Kim Hildreth:
I have definitely approached had that situation happen with, like, a variety of different partners and personalities. I think it's especially hard when it's a game time decision, an important match with someone you don't know very well.
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Kim Hildreth:
And let's say you and I are playing together and we're like, in the finals of a qualifier, this game is to get in, and it's like, okay, I think our best strategy is serving this person this way and doing this on them.
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Kim Hildreth:
And you're like, no, I really believe I know this other person really well doing this this way.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think what I've learned and failed at honestly a few times in that and just, like, fully giving that to my partner or trying to fully take it on myself is I personally think there's never really a right or wrong answer.
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Kim Hildreth:
I feel like when somebody feels really strongly about something, committing is the most important part.
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Kim Hildreth:
But I think where people get tripped up the most is, however you make that decision.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, personally, whatever the leadership dynamics are on the team, I think both players need to commit to it and then be open to learning from what you did so that you can adjust your strategy as necessary.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think what I've failed at before and I watch other people fail at is, like, not paying attention enough and getting stuck and stubborn enough in what you were doing and thinking that it's working.
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Kim Hildreth:
When there's a huge difference between, is it working? Like, what does working mean? Does working mean that we're scoring points? Because in my opinion, I think no matter how you're scoring points, it's working.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think a lot of people get stuck on like, well, we're digging her, so it's working.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, well, are you transitioning and putting balls away? Yeah, we're not a transition team.
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Kim Hildreth:
Maybe it's just not on that day or maybe the way you're digging, I think for me, that's a really hard one because everybody has that one thing when they play that if they do that one thing really well, that they're playing great, even if the rest of the game sucks.
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Kim Hildreth:
And for me, that's your defense.
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Kim Hildreth:
If I'm digging balls, I'm balling.
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00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:36,218
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, okay.
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Kim Hildreth:
I can't put a ball away to save my life.
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00:14:38,056 --> 00:14:39,258
Kim Hildreth:
Who cares? I'm digging.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's kind of like, I don't know, sometimes, like an ego thing.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's like you can't put anything down on me.
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Mark Burik:
I love it.
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00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:49,970
Kim Hildreth:
And I've had to check myself and have gone.
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Kim Hildreth:
When I go back and watch film and some games that I've lost, like, important matches, it's like, yeah, I'm digging, but I'm digging really difficult balls.
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Kim Hildreth:
And we are basically consistently in an out of system transition situation.
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Kim Hildreth:
So we're giving the other team a free ball back and they're scoring right away or I'm not able to whatever happens, if that's really difficult or the hit was really difficult.
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Kim Hildreth:
So we made an error or whatever.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think a lot of people will look at that and be like, oh, you know, well, we're digging the balls.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, we just need to do better.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, well, you're not doing better.
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00:15:21,592 --> 00:15:23,246
Kim Hildreth:
And the game goes by like that.
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00:15:23,308 --> 00:15:25,862
Kim Hildreth:
So something that needs to change.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think that ability to pay attention is what makes her break like top players.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think getting to live in Florida and in the last couple of years since Larissa has lived here, she started playing every single Florida tournament, no matter how much money was on the line or where it was.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, they literally played every tournament. And so I got to play Larissa like 1520 times
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Mark Burik:
In the last few years, and I don't know how many 50 something world champion Fivb Championships.
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Kim Hildreth:
Larissa, who is the Misty May of Brazil.
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Mark Burik:
Yes.
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Mark Burik:
And the players who don't know her in our country or in Florida who are getting to play her internship, she's an absolute legend, and everybody should go over there and kind of thank her for what she did in volleyball and what she's still doing.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, I know.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I think getting that kind of, like really high level experience, like, so much over the last two years has really taught me a lot about that because you can tell she is 100% paying attention.
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Kim Hildreth:
If you go back and watch your film against Larissa, she is counting in her head every single time in every situation that you hit a certain ball or why you did something this way.
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Kim Hildreth:
And at the end of the game, she's gobbling it up and putting in your face.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think that ability to adapt is more important than the partnership dynamic of what are we going to try? So I think what I've been learning the last couple of years is it doesn't matter to me.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, I used to need to control it, and I feel like I'm pretty good at it, so I like to control it, but it's not worth my partner not feeling confident in what they have to say.
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Kim Hildreth:
So if my partner feels really strongly, I'll usually be like, all right, let's do it.
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Kim Hildreth:
But maintain the ability, pay attention and be like, okay, great, this is working.
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Kim Hildreth:
Okay, no, this is not working. And let's try something else
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Mark Burik:
that's big because you can get into the big ego situation of just trying to wait out your partner being wrong.
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Mark Burik:
You hold on to that and you're just like, see, we lost another point.
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Mark Burik:
Mentally, you're even doing that, like lipsticking of like if you're serving the other person instead of trying to figure out the person that you are serving or whatever strategy, you got to go and say, okay, this is the strategy we are within.
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Mark Burik:
So let's solve all those problems and let's figure out why they're hitting certain spots and what I can do to prevent it within this strategy.
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Kim Hildreth:
100% And I think that ego thing is really important, and that's I think something that playing with a variety of people can really give you is just everyone responds differently to conversations like that.
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Kim Hildreth:
And the more mature you are able to navigate those conversations, the better.
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Kim Hildreth:
Which is honestly why I feel like my personal business, health coaching, has been really successful and why it's something that I really enjoy because I do feel like I have a lot of experience with those conversations and what I end up doing and teaching and health coaching is very similar to what I do in the sport.
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Kim Hildreth:
To me, it's one of the most interesting things about humanity.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's just like the dynamics of how people work and how people communicate and converse.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I could nerd out on that all day.
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Mark Burik:
You know, it's so funny you say that, because the thing that I think in the last two years that has made me a better player and a better coach and definitely a better person overall was the marriage counseling that me and my wife got premarriage where they talk about bringing up the things that you think about differently and sharing what energy you have and sharing whose role, which role belongs to who, and the ability to actually just sit and just discuss those dynamics instead of even the XS and OS of volleyball and understanding that all of us come from a different background, we have a different story.
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Mark Burik:
So even if you think or you're statistically proven that you're right, you cannot say you're right in a battle against your teammates because.
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Kim Hildreth:
Your wife's probably beating right now She's so proud.
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Mark Burik:
I think I Dove into some more books than she do.
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Mark Burik:
She had it.
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Mark Burik:
She had the natural gift.
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Mark Burik:
And I was like, all right, let's study. How do I become a person?
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, I mean, I totally agree because I think at the end of the day, everybody knows how to play this sport.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think even record players are really knowledgeable about the inner workings of the sport.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think the ability to I think emotional intelligence is one of the most important skills in this sport.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think that there are so many people out there that are just like, I'm not a good communicator.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm not good at talking about my feelings.
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Kim Hildreth:
And it's like, okay, I hate when people say I'm not, because then it's like, well, that's part of who you are.
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Kim Hildreth:
So really that's like a part of who you were born to be is like someone who's not a good communicator.
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Kim Hildreth:
I really don't agree with that.
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Kim Hildreth:
I don't think there are very many things in life that are not practicable skills.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I absolutely think emotional intelligence is one of them.
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Kim Hildreth:
I have done it myself.
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Kim Hildreth:
I have helped other people do it.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm 100% convinced it is teachable and practice full and really important in beach volleyball
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Kim Hildreth:
What the hell do you mean by emotional intelligence? Yeah, to the basic because emotional intelligence to somebody who grew up the way that I did, it doesn't have a meaning.
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Mark Burik:
for the guys out there and maybe some of the other ladies. It sounds made up, and it's an incredibly to me, at least maybe I'm one of the only guys out there who thinks this way.
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Mark Burik:
But it is the vaguest of explanations for what somebody has to be to match your Bumble profile or whatever.
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Mark Burik:
I need somebody who's emotionally intelligent.
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Mark Burik:
Okay.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, I want to be like that.
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Kim Hildreth:
But how yeah.
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Mark Burik:
So how do you describe emotional intelligence and then maybe you could relate it back to volleyball?
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah. I think emotional intelligence is the ability to I think it's a mind body connection thing.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think it's the ability to feel in your body when you're feeling something and then also the ability to communicate.
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Kim Hildreth:
It that this is what I'm feeling.
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Kim Hildreth:
And so part of the skills that you need to have a high level of emotional intelligence is you need to have a good enough vocabulary, frankly, to do it.
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Kim Hildreth:
And I think that's one of the things that people struggle with the most is like, I'm frustrated or I'm upset or you're mad.
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Kim Hildreth:
They're just very basic emotions that people usually use to describe their feelings instead of like, if you're mad, are you actually disappointed or are you lonely or are you like, you know, unfulfilled? Like, these are very different meanings of words and the ability to say what you're feeling and know that in yourself, and then the empathy to hold space for somebody else sharing what they're going through, or even just have the sensitivity to notice that somebody else is feeling something and be able to communicate.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I think the skills that go with emotional intelligence that aren't talked about enough are communication skills, and those are so practiceable.
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Kim Hildreth:
You can learn a new vocabulary in like a couple of days.
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Kim Hildreth:
You can start adding new words to that.
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Mark Burik:
Could you give me an example of a communication let's go with two of them, a specific skill, because again, this becomes when you say communication skills, emotional intelligence for a lot of people, I think these are very vague statements.
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Mark Burik:
If you say you need to work on your passing skills or your volleyball skills, you can say, okay, I need to get her at passing.
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Mark Burik:
I need to get her better at passing.
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Mark Burik:
Float serves. So what is one example of a communication skill and how would somebody practice it?
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, I think maybe I'll give you a very real volleyball example of when I watch this happen and when I watch people struggle with emotional intelligence is you are getting picked on, you are getting served every ball and for whatever reason, it's not your day, or maybe someone's watching you play like your boyfriend's there, and he's never been there before, and you're really nervous because you want him to think you're good.
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Kim Hildreth:
Or it's like your first opportunity to get to play with someone who's better than you, and you're, like, scared of messing up.
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Kim Hildreth:
And so in the match, you're just, like, mentally not in the place that you like to be at, which happens to every single pro 100%.
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Kim Hildreth:
There's no way that this has not happened at least one time to everybody who's ever played Bachelor
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Mark Burik:
or like that blocker who had your number in three matches, and you just think that he owns you for some reason.
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Kim Hildreth:
So, like, emotionally, you're not in your best state to play, and so everybody goes through that. So you're getting picked on.
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Kim Hildreth:
And as a partner, having played with a zillion different people, I have watched a lot of people be in that situation.
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Kim Hildreth:
I've played with a lot of people who have played a lot less volleyball than me.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I've been in the role of my partners getting served a lot in my life and being able to watch them struggle with not knowing what they need and not being able to communicate to me what I can do to help them, to raise their confidence, to make them feel supported.
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Kim Hildreth:
I mean, for me, when I'm in that situation, I know that I need to feel like my partner has my back no matter what.
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Kim Hildreth:
For whatever insecurities that I have, I need my partner to say, we're in this together.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'm here with you no matter how bad you play.
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Kim Hildreth:
Let's see how we can make it work.
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Kim Hildreth:
We can still play like Poop and win.
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Mark Burik:
Those statements would work for you.
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Mark Burik:
Like those actual statements.
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Mark Burik:
Those would be your words of encouragement.
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Mark Burik:
Is there anything anyone who ever wants to play with me, we talk about this because we have a little form that we have people fill out, like the partner profile, and we have our turn on and our turn offs before we go to the next part of what you're saying, do you have any turn offs in that situation that while you're kind of you didn't side out three balls in a row, is there anything that you know that if somebody said at that moment you would just want to punch her in the face and you'd be done on the court?
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Kim Hildreth:
I think for me personally, it's pretty hard to push me to a real turn off. I think I've seen a lot of it.
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Kim Hildreth:
I've experienced a lot of it.
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Kim Hildreth:
I've had a partner who just didn't talk to me.
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Kim Hildreth:
She just was upset about something and literally was like, not going to call the ball, not going to give me a call when I'm hitting.
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Kim Hildreth:
She was, like, having just whatever she was going through a lot and probably the biggest turn off is that they would just be like, yeah, I'm done.
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Kim Hildreth:
I don't want to play this game anymore.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think that I'd be like, well, I guess I'll play one on two.
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Kim Hildreth:
I'll see if we'll figure it out.
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Kim Hildreth:
But I probably wouldn't play with them after that.
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Mark Burik:
So silence, cold shoulder is probably your worst
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Kim Hildreth:
avoidance in general, I think. Yeah.
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Mark Burik:
Okay.
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Mark Burik:
I think some guys are kind of comfortable with that.
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Mark Burik:
There are people who when their partner just like, it goes quiet, it really sucks, especially if it's something different from what their norm is.
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Mark Burik:
If you're playing with somebody who's just always quiet and stoic and just, like, walks back and doesn't say anything, then you're used to that.
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Mark Burik:
But if you're used to the partner who's got energy, he's giving you vocal cues and a little bit of body language, and then there's a shift in that where there's zero communication.
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Mark Burik:
That's bad.
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Mark Burik:
But I think, I think there's room for people to be successful without being communicative as we do it all the time.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
I don't see Taylor Crab talk very much.
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Kim Hildreth:
He's pretty smooth sailing and free level, like, not much cheering.
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Kim Hildreth:
Everybody has their different States that they are going to like to succeed at a high level for sure.
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Mark Burik:
Okay.
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Mark Burik:
So you're talking about skills for how to, like, an actual communication skill that you're talking about for volleyball.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
So in that situation where if you and I are playing together and I can tell you are shutting down, you are emotionally, like, in a different state than I am used to seeing you play, two things need to happen on your side and on my side, like, on your side, the more you are able to recognize in yourself that you're shutting down.
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Kim Hildreth:
That's the first step.
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Kim Hildreth:
If you don't even know what's happening, which I've been there and I've watched people go through it.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, you go through the whole match and you were completely shut down, and you go back and watch the video and you're like, this is like a different player than all these other videos that I have.
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Kim Hildreth:
Right.
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Kim Hildreth:
I've been part of that.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
So being able to be self aware enough to recognize when your emotional state is changing as part of emotional intelligence, and it does take practice, but I think watching film is a great way to do it volleyball wise.
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Kim Hildreth:
But I think it's a practice of skill, like literally 24 hours a day of your life.
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Mark Burik:
How do you practice it?
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Kim Hildreth:
Practicing being aware is like asking for feedback from other people is a huge one. You can ask from.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think a really eye opening exercise for a lot of people is ask your five closest people in your life how they see you respond when you're being vulnerable.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like when you hear.
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Kim Hildreth:
When you feel vulnerable.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's good feedback.
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Mark Burik:
How they ask you feel when you're feeling vulnerable or how they think you respond when you feel, how they can tell what you do.
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Kim Hildreth:
Typically, when you feel vulnerable, and the more you talk about it, the more you can become aware of it.
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Kim Hildreth:
And so a lot of times, the first step to becoming aware is reflection, because you're not able to be aware of it in the moment.
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Kim Hildreth:
You're only able to be aware of it once it's already happened.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's like when you're being able to be a little bit aware when you're dreaming.
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Kim Hildreth:
And the way I've had some of my worst dreams, I actually got disappointed in myself from a lucid dream.
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Mark Burik:
I was like, I've never patted my own back on my creativity or my artistic ability.
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Mark Burik:
And I was swimming in the ocean.
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Mark Burik:
I know this is a side story, but I was swimming in the ocean, and I was able to breathe for a really long time underwater.
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Mark Burik:
And I was like, oh, wow.
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Mark Burik:
And then I saw this sea creature, and I looked at it and I said, There is no possible way that you are real.
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Mark Burik:
And then I realized that I was dreaming, and I was, like, disappointed.
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Mark Burik:
I go, Mark, this is the best your imagination could come up with.
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Mark Burik:
You have zero artistic ability.
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Mark Burik:
But, hey, we're still dreaming.
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Mark Burik:
So let's see what's going on.
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Mark Burik:
And then I just swam around for the rest.
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Mark Burik:
But I remember being like, you suck at art, Mark, because I couldn't dream of a good creature that would be vulnerable.
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Mark Burik:
So vulnerable.
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Kim Hildreth:
That was great.
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Kim Hildreth:
I love the anecdote, and I think everybody needed a little more insight into your life.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
If you look it up, if you Google, like, how can I lucid dream? It'll tell you, like, set an alarm in the middle of the night to wake you up and Journal immediately what you remember dreaming.
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Kim Hildreth:
And so it's the same exercise.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's like, you can't do it while you're dreaming, right? You have to stop dreaming and then write about it.
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Kim Hildreth:
But the more you do that, your brain starts to connect faster and faster so that you will become aware while you're doing it.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's just like if someone's trying to get you to pass better, and they're like, you need to lock your elbows when you pass, right? You might need, like, if I'm in one of your camps, Mark, I might need you because I can't think about it while the ball is in the air coming to me.
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Kim Hildreth:
So every time after I pass, you tell me, can't lock your elbows.
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Kim Hildreth:
Shoot.
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Kim Hildreth:
Okay.
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Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
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Kim Hildreth:
So enough times of you telling me after it happens, eventually I'm going to be able to do it while it's happening.
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Kim Hildreth:
Same concept.
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Kim Hildreth:
So, like, how do you become more aware of your emotional state, of when you're shutting down of what you're doing is a lot of reflection and journaling about it can be really helpful or just having conversations about it with people and, like, kind of, like, reflecting on what happened.
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Kim Hildreth:
And eventually you're going to start to be aware in the moment when it's happening.
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Kim Hildreth:
So I love that question.
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Kim Hildreth:
I think loving practical applications, this stuff are really missed sometimes.
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Mark Burik:
And you also said vulnerable when you're feeling vulnerable.
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Mark Burik:
I don't think a lot of people maybe again, I'm alone in this, but I don't understand what feeling vulnerable is.
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Kim Hildreth:
Okay, so practically what feeling vulnerable is.
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Kim Hildreth:
Vulnerability is the moment when you put yourself out there that like something's on the line and outside.
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Kim Hildreth:
Like, someone else could take the thing that you're putting out there and hurt you with it.
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Kim Hildreth:
And so I think Brene Brown has a really great definition of vulnerability that I probably just totally butchered.
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Kim Hildreth:
But she does a really good job.
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Kim Hildreth:
There's a thing I think it's on Netflix.
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Kim Hildreth:
It's called The Call to Courage that I think anyone who ever wants to play sports should watch.
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00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:47,174
Kim Hildreth:
And it's basically about, like, stepping into the arena and being vulnerable is being willing to step into the arena and put yourself out there.
326
00:33:47,212 --> 00:33:49,540
Kim Hildreth:
So I'll use myself as an example.
327
00:33:49,870 --> 00:33:57,374
Kim Hildreth:
I could go step on the volleyball court, and I have had great results in the past, and I've had not great results in the past.
328
00:33:57,412 --> 00:33:59,610
Kim Hildreth:
And last year wasn't my best year on the AVP.
329
00:33:59,730 --> 00:34:02,366
Kim Hildreth:
I was in the main draw but didn't win a match in the main draw.
330
00:34:02,488 --> 00:34:07,934
Kim Hildreth:
And the fact I could be like, oh, I didn't like that.
331
00:34:08,032 --> 00:34:09,230
Kim Hildreth:
I didn't feel good.
332
00:34:09,340 --> 00:34:11,006
Kim Hildreth:
I definitely didn't feel good about it.
333
00:34:11,068 --> 00:34:12,690
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I had a lot of, you know, shame.
334
00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:13,586
Kim Hildreth:
I didn't like.
335
00:34:13,648 --> 00:34:15,630
Kim Hildreth:
And I was like, I'm going to quit volleyball.
336
00:34:15,750 --> 00:34:31,650
Kim Hildreth:
Or I could continue to step into the arena and put myself out there and be like, I could go to Austin and go Owen Two again and feel all those same feelings, and everybody could watch me do it, or I could just quit and not walk and walk away and, like, not be vulnerable.
337
00:34:31,710 --> 00:34:41,870
Kim Hildreth:
So me putting myself out there for everyone to see or like, people that are important to me to see that I could fail is putting myself in a vulnerable position.
338
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:47,438
Kim Hildreth:
And I think in the volleyball game, beach volleyball, you get forced to be in a vulnerable position.
339
00:34:47,524 --> 00:34:53,562
Kim Hildreth:
Like, if I'm going to serve you every ball, Mark every ball, I'm going to tell you before the match, I'm going to serve you every freaking ball.
340
00:34:53,646 --> 00:34:57,460
Kim Hildreth:
And if you are this much nervous about it, you are vulnerable by staying in the match.
341
00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:04,738
Mark Burik:
You could escape that vulnerable position by somebody coach.
342
00:35:04,774 --> 00:35:06,920
Mark Burik:
Like, I think junior girls a lot.
343
00:35:07,670 --> 00:35:11,900
Mark Burik:
I noticed the giggle or this is just fun.
344
00:35:13,430 --> 00:35:14,394
Mark Burik:
I don't really care.
345
00:35:14,432 --> 00:35:20,398
Mark Burik:
I'm going to make a joke out of it became an escape from what you're saying was vulnerability.
346
00:35:20,554 --> 00:35:27,990
Mark Burik:
So instead of seeing them struggle and potentially fail, they would escape it by doing the giggle.
347
00:35:28,310 --> 00:35:29,254
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, I'm hurt.
348
00:35:29,302 --> 00:35:30,670
Kim Hildreth:
I'm not taking it seriously.
349
00:35:30,730 --> 00:35:32,420
Kim Hildreth:
It's not that important to me.
350
00:35:32,810 --> 00:35:39,558
Kim Hildreth:
But when you step on the court and you say it's really important to you and you're actually giving your all that's putting yourself in a vulnerable position.
351
00:35:39,644 --> 00:35:47,922
Kim Hildreth:
And I think everybody who wants to play volleyball at a high level or even the highest level that they can be whatever level that might be, I think you're putting yourself in that position.
352
00:35:48,056 --> 00:35:51,582
Kim Hildreth:
I think it's very brave, and I think you'll learn a lot of life lessons from it.
353
00:35:51,716 --> 00:36:05,794
Mark Burik:
So if I were to translate vulnerable, vulnerable is essentially a wager on yourself where, you know, it's not a sure bet and maybe emotionally.
354
00:36:05,842 --> 00:36:25,390
Mark Burik:
Do you have an example of that between just two people instead of volleyball? Because like showing up to a tournament and playing and trying your hardest and telling everybody that you're playing in a tournament and that you try really hard, I can see that as putting yourself in vulnerable position where you're like, yeah, hey, I know that I'm putting myself on spotlight.
355
00:36:25,450 --> 00:36:30,646
Mark Burik:
I know that everybody knows that I'm working as hard as I can and I might still fail.
356
00:36:30,718 --> 00:36:37,086
Mark Burik:
So they might see my hard work as unvaluable in some way.
357
00:36:37,268 --> 00:36:37,758
Kim Hildreth:
Well, yeah.
358
00:36:37,784 --> 00:36:50,202
Kim Hildreth:
And I think everybody could resonate with the feeling of being scared that you're just not good enough, that you could work just as hard and do all the things you could put all your team together.
359
00:36:50,276 --> 00:36:54,054
Kim Hildreth:
You could be doing every single possible thing that you could be doing.
360
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:58,054
Kim Hildreth:
And you know what? You still don't get the results.
361
00:36:58,102 --> 00:37:00,822
Kim Hildreth:
So that must mean that I'm just not good enough.
362
00:37:00,956 --> 00:37:13,926
Kim Hildreth:
And I think that results oriented mindset is what stops people from putting themselves in that position, because they think the only thing that they have to gain is either at all or lose it all.
363
00:37:14,108 --> 00:37:15,380
Kim Hildreth:
It's all or nothing.
364
00:37:15,890 --> 00:37:21,690
Kim Hildreth:
There's nothing to be gained by actually trying in the process, even if you fail.
365
00:37:22,730 --> 00:37:30,678
Kim Hildreth:
So an example between two people, I think it can be the smallest things.
366
00:37:30,764 --> 00:37:33,298
Kim Hildreth:
I think there can be really small moments of vulnerability.
367
00:37:33,394 --> 00:37:43,202
Kim Hildreth:
It can be me telling my husband, like, you know what? I had a really long day or actually even easier.
368
00:37:43,286 --> 00:37:50,614
Kim Hildreth:
I could be like, hey, Mark, I want to play with you season really bad, and I'm going to wait for you.
369
00:37:50,652 --> 00:37:55,294
Kim Hildreth:
You can go through all your options, and I'm just going to wait it out because you're my number one pick.
370
00:37:55,452 --> 00:38:06,634
Kim Hildreth:
And waiting for you to either accept or reject me is putting myself in a vulnerable position, whether or not anybody else knows that because you know and it's clearly important to me that you know.
371
00:38:06,792 --> 00:38:16,620
Kim Hildreth:
So I think vulnerability can be and usually is like very little moments that can make or break relationships for sure.
372
00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:35,842
Mark Burik:
How do two friends become vulnerable with each other? I don't know why I don't understand this concept of being vulnerable that I do understand saying, like, you're going to try as hard as you can for absolutely everything and then be.
373
00:38:35,916 --> 00:38:45,154
Mark Burik:
But that's with a lot of people looking at you, but in between two people or two, like, friends, I don't know.
374
00:38:45,312 --> 00:39:01,260
Mark Burik:
Is it like admitting that you have a problem with an addiction? That to me, okay, that might be expressing some vulnerability and hoping that your friend doesn't just be like, well, you're weak or showing that they still have some support.
375
00:39:01,650 --> 00:39:05,280
Mark Burik:
But what else, aside from that, could be an example.
376
00:39:06,690 --> 00:39:18,146
Kim Hildreth:
I mean, I think the ability to fully be able to be yourself without acting around somebody is like expressing vulnerability to its fullest.
377
00:39:18,218 --> 00:39:24,346
Kim Hildreth:
Really? You and I know each other well enough.
378
00:39:24,408 --> 00:39:27,586
Kim Hildreth:
I would say we're friends, but we don't know each other super well.
379
00:39:27,768 --> 00:39:29,290
Kim Hildreth:
Like, we don't spend a whole lot of time together.
380
00:39:29,340 --> 00:39:31,670
Kim Hildreth:
I don't know, like a ton about your background or you about mine.
381
00:39:31,730 --> 00:39:47,374
Kim Hildreth:
So even just between us, I think having a conversation where you have a thought that you're like, I could share this, but I'm not going to that's like a moment where you choose to be vulnerable or not.
382
00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:56,580
Kim Hildreth:
And I wouldn't say that every situation that you have that thought again, all or nothing mindset, I think is really not helpful in any situation.
383
00:39:56,970 --> 00:39:58,990
Kim Hildreth:
I don't think anybody could convince me that at all or nothing.
384
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,260
Kim Hildreth:
Unless you're, like, in war, maybe.
385
00:40:01,830 --> 00:40:02,158
Mark Burik:
Yeah.
386
00:40:02,184 --> 00:40:07,680
Mark Burik:
Because I've been told by friends and loved ones that I expressed my mind too much.
387
00:40:09,270 --> 00:40:09,706
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
388
00:40:09,768 --> 00:40:12,134
Kim Hildreth:
And I can relate to that totally.
389
00:40:12,182 --> 00:40:32,410
Kim Hildreth:
And so maybe being vulnerable is like, for me, sometimes being vulnerable is letting go of control and being okay with, like, I'm not going to say something or I'm not going to be the kind of I'm not going to try to put my hands in something because it's actually scarier for me to let somebody else take the wheel.
390
00:40:33,030 --> 00:40:34,370
Kim Hildreth:
That's also being vulnerable.
391
00:40:34,430 --> 00:40:38,794
Kim Hildreth:
It's putting something that I'm not comfortable with in the hands of somebody else.
392
00:40:38,832 --> 00:40:41,318
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I'm about to look up the definition from Renee.
393
00:40:41,414 --> 00:40:41,986
Kim Hildreth:
Really good.
394
00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:49,990
Kim Hildreth:
Does that answer your question a little bit more?
395
00:40:50,100 --> 00:40:51,434
Mark Burik:
It's getting there to say that I fully understand it. Yeah, I guess I don't.
396
00:40:51,482 --> 00:41:02,242
Mark Burik:
And I know there's probably going to be a few hundred people just rolling their eyes saying, how do you not understand? But there are certain points where I definitely understand it.
397
00:41:02,316 --> 00:41:16,380
Mark Burik:
But then understanding towing the line of, well, how do you be yourself, express what you say you don't offend people nonstop because you say what you think and what you feel.
398
00:41:17,010 --> 00:41:26,446
Mark Burik:
If I think something stupid, I've been known to say, I think that's stupid, and that puts them on the line.
399
00:41:26,508 --> 00:41:33,310
Mark Burik:
And I have sacrificed friendships where I've been at the point where I say, you know what? I'm a better leader than a person.
400
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:48,406
Mark Burik:
And I think that this person, while they need to hear it in order to be the best person that they are, and it might break our relationship, but no one else has the courage to tell them.
401
00:41:48,588 --> 00:41:54,840
Mark Burik:
And so I will put a relationship on the line to try to help somebody.
402
00:41:55,290 --> 00:42:02,520\
Mark Burik:
I think that's me, you might hate me for this and here we go because I think you need to hear it.
403
00:42:03,030 --> 00:42:04,678
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, I agree with that.
404
00:42:04,704 --> 00:42:18,722
Kim Hildreth:
I think that the people in my life who are willing to challenge me when I'm not being the person that I say that I want to be are the people that I would count as my closest friends.
405
00:42:18,916 --> 00:42:28,518
Kim Hildreth:
And that means that there are times like right now there's like a friend that I'm Super close with that we had a misunderstanding on both sides.
406
00:42:28,554 --> 00:42:34,300
Kim Hildreth:
We were hurt and we still expressed both of us.
407
00:42:34,750 --> 00:42:36,880
Kim Hildreth:
You are still one of my closest friends.
408
00:42:37,870 --> 00:42:39,554
Kim Hildreth:
We need to talk about this at some point.
409
00:42:39,592 --> 00:42:43,106
Kim Hildreth:
But right now, like, our relationship need some space.
410
00:42:43,288 --> 00:42:57,040
Kim Hildreth:
And I think that that's where true relationships happen when there's the ability to change, like real vulnerability and real connection can handle change.
411
00:43:00,310 --> 00:43:13,934
Kim Hildreth:
It's just having the maturity to know that relationships in life are going to ebb and flow and having the security in yourself enough to know that it's okay if some of my relationships change.
412
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:24,650
Kim Hildreth:
That I think is a high goal to reach and I think can show you really what people in your life are really there and really not.
413
00:43:24,700 --> 00:43:31,602
Kim Hildreth:
And like some people, I feel like think vulnerability is like this person that I can just share everything with and they know all my deep, dirty secrets.
414
00:43:31,626 --> 00:43:34,370
Kim Hildreth:
And I definitely used to think that way too.
415
00:43:34,420 --> 00:43:36,030
Kim Hildreth:
But I don't anymore.
416
00:43:36,150 --> 00:43:42,110
Kim Hildreth:
I think some of the people that I would say I've been the most vulnerable with and they with me, I don't know that.
417
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:43,694
Kim Hildreth:
I don't know all those things about them.
418
00:43:43,732 --> 00:43:49,574
Kim Hildreth:
There's just not like the ability and the time, I think, to have that relationship with everybody.
419
00:43:49,672 --> 00:44:04,914
Kim Hildreth:
So I really think it's a matter of just like that person is able to bear their soul to you when and if the time comes or is willing to fight through when they're feeling hurt to find connection.
420
00:44:05,022 --> 00:44:06,410
Kim Hildreth:
I think that's vulnerability.
421
00:44:07,870 --> 00:44:11,222
Kim Hildreth:
So I think there's a lot of different dynamics that it can be.
422
00:44:11,296 --> 00:44:19,358
Kim Hildreth:
But I think it boils down to really like being willing to put yourself out there when you'd rather not knowing that you could get hurt if you do.
423
00:44:19,504 --> 00:44:44,354
Mark Burik:
Yes, I guess maybe that would be one of your challenges when you're coaching both your life and your health and your wellness students is trying to help them navigate the line between just inappropriately opinion expressing and being comfortable with sharing your thoughts and feelings 100% with somebody.
424
00:44:44,452 --> 00:44:50,702
Mark Burik:
And there's got to be a difficult line there that I think a lot of people tell or they don't know.
425
00:44:50,776 --> 00:44:54,834
Mark Burik:
But maybe the people who are super angry and super opinionated.
426
00:44:55,002 --> 00:45:09,770
Mark Burik:
There's an argument from our definition here that those might be the most vulnerable people or there's an argument against it saying, well, you're not being vulnerable because you're just pushing people away and shutting them down and they don't get to have an opinion that challenges yours.
427
00:45:11,410 --> 00:45:12,520
Kim Hildreth:
I think both.
428
00:45:14,050 --> 00:45:16,458
Kim Hildreth:
I think people think it's so complicated.
429
00:45:16,554 --> 00:45:30,220
Kim Hildreth:
But from my experience, I literally like to the team just have a client right now that I'm working on with that they are so uncomfortable with what to share, when to share every single time that we talk.
430
00:45:30,850 --> 00:45:38,726
Kim Hildreth:
She's like, Should I have said this or do I do this? And I'm like, I cannot tell you what's best for your life.
431
00:45:38,788 --> 00:45:47,906
Kim Hildreth:
I can give you my perspective on what I think socially, but honestly, my opinion doesn't matter because what matters is you feel good about yourself.
432
00:45:48,088 --> 00:45:57,230
Kim Hildreth:
And I think the problem that most people have is like, they have lost so much trust with themselves by not speaking from an authentic place.
433
00:45:57,340 --> 00:46:03,098
Kim Hildreth:
Like how you said you were like, Man, I was willing to put my relationship on the line because this mattered to me.
434
00:46:03,184 --> 00:46:09,534
Kim Hildreth:
That is like deep in your soul, you're not hiding from it, you're looking at it and you're knowing that this could suck.
435
00:46:09,582 --> 00:46:12,520
Kim Hildreth:
But if I don't, I'll regret it.
436
00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:17,690
Kim Hildreth:
And having that moment where I think I actually wrote a blog on it one time.
437
00:46:17,740 --> 00:46:24,590
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I think the moment of living with no regrets is when you're completely authentic to yourself sometimes.
438
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:35,058
Kim Hildreth:
I like to use like if you're in a dating relationship, well, if you actually are dating to find a life partner versus dating for fun because you just like companionship and both are valid.
439
00:46:35,094 --> 00:46:46,170
Kim Hildreth:
But if you're in a place where you're looking for a life partner, you will probably have regrets if you don't treat them like your life partner from the first time you start dating.
440
00:46:46,290 --> 00:46:55,794
Kim Hildreth:
Like, as soon as you guys agree that you're on the same commitment level, if you're like waiting to see if it works out to actually be acting the way you want to be, you're probably going to have regrets.
441
00:46:55,902 --> 00:47:10,310
Kim Hildreth:
But it would hurt more if you were all in and treated them exactly like you would treat the person in your life and they still left you, then you'd be like, well, that hurts a lot because I put it all on the line and they still left and I wasn't enough.
442
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,110
Mark Burik:
It kind of goes back to what we said earlier.
443
00:47:13,150 --> 00:47:16,382
Mark Burik:
You feel like you're controlling the narrative at that point.
444
00:47:16,516 --> 00:47:19,598
Mark Burik:
So you're just like, no, it can't just be who I am.
445
00:47:19,684 --> 00:47:22,310
Mark Burik:
I have to be able to control this situation socially.
446
00:47:23,230 --> 00:47:32,500
Mark Burik:
And then when you do that, you're also month, weeks, whatever, years later, you probably start thinking, well now I can't really go back on that.
447
00:47:33,490 --> 00:47:58,300
Mark Burik:
So you've created this place where if you start acting in a different way or you start acting more like your true self, then you're kind of admitting that you are lying and then you're calling yourself a liar in front of that person by changing your mind or shifting, which is unfortunate because I think people should be able to change their mind, but they shouldn't put out something false either.
448
00:47:59,170 --> 00:48:08,500
Kim Hildreth:
I think a lot of people end up putting out something false because that's what they needed to do to feel safe in their life.
449
00:48:09,190 --> 00:48:24,460
Kim Hildreth:
And I think the moment that people stop having to live in survival mode, for whatever reason, there's, like, a variety of reasons that people, like, stop being authentic to themselves, like childhood Freudian idea stuff.
450
00:48:26,350 --> 00:48:31,778
Kim Hildreth:
And therapy is a good time and place for things to kind of figure that out and figure out who you are.
451
00:48:31,804 --> 00:48:45,870
Kim Hildreth:
But I think the difference in what I do from therapy is that you've kind of figured some stuff out and you have to at some point decide, I'm just not willing to, like, live in survival mode anymore.
452
00:48:45,930 --> 00:48:49,780
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I deserve to live a life that I'm, like, fucking happy.
453
00:48:52,670 --> 00:49:05,178
Kim Hildreth:
Why should anybody or any idea that somebody has of me stop me from being the happiest person that I can be and, like, living the most fulfilled life that I can live? And that is, like you said at the beginning, it is an actionable thing.
454
00:49:05,324 --> 00:49:10,314
Kim Hildreth:
You can make choices every day to start becoming the person who you want to be.
455
00:49:10,352 --> 00:49:24,234
Kim Hildreth:
You can't change who you have been that's therapy, figure that out, process it, because you might need to use some of those tools that you learned to become the person you want to be or to learn why or what's stopping you from becoming the person you want to be.
456
00:49:24,332 --> 00:49:30,462
Kim Hildreth:
Like, you might be hitting this wall and you're not really sure why and why can I never consistently work out.
457
00:49:30,656 --> 00:49:37,134
Kim Hildreth:
That is like, one of the reasons people come to me all the time and figuring out why or like, this is a great example, actually.
458
00:49:37,172 --> 00:49:48,174
Kim Hildreth:
I have a client recently who went through, Why Am I Not Cooking for Myself? And when we first come into the program, nutrition is the most important thing for her.
459
00:49:48,212 --> 00:49:49,786
Kim Hildreth:
And she's like, I just hate to Cook.
460
00:49:49,858 --> 00:49:51,882
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, okay, that's totally fine.
461
00:49:52,016 --> 00:49:53,314
Kim Hildreth:
Not everybody needs to Cook.
462
00:49:53,362 --> 00:49:57,870
Kim Hildreth:
You don't have to Cook to be healthy or to feel healthy about yourself.
463
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:06,598
Kim Hildreth:
And so we spent a couple of weeks of her experimenting with taking some getting food service delivered or whatever so she didn't have to Cook.
464
00:50:06,694 --> 00:50:09,882
Kim Hildreth:
And she's like, okay, I feel like I'm eating enough.
465
00:50:09,956 --> 00:50:12,486
Kim Hildreth:
I'm eating for fueling myself.
466
00:50:12,548 --> 00:50:18,658
Kim Hildreth:
I'm feeling pretty good about the amount I'm eating, but I'm still not feeling like it's fueling me correctly.
467
00:50:18,694 --> 00:50:19,746
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm not sure why.
468
00:50:19,868 --> 00:50:22,506
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, okay, well, for her, it was right.
469
00:50:22,568 --> 00:50:26,490
Kim Hildreth:
It's not right for everybody to track what you're eating and count your macros or whatever.
470
00:50:26,540 --> 00:50:32,386
Kim Hildreth:
But it was a really good educational experience for her to realize, oh my gosh, I am not eating very much protein.
471
00:50:32,458 --> 00:50:38,278
Kim Hildreth:
I mean, a bunch of fat and no wonder my digestive system feels a little funky, because I'm not digesting the fat.
472
00:50:38,314 --> 00:50:39,042
Kim Hildreth:
Really? Well, whatever.
473
00:50:39,116 --> 00:50:45,162
Kim Hildreth:
So she's like, I know I can control more of what I eat if I Cook for myself.
474
00:50:45,236 --> 00:50:51,810
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, well, why don't you Cook for yourself? So we spent a whole session talk, figuring out, like, every time she was like, well, here's a reason.
475
00:50:51,860 --> 00:50:52,374
Kim Hildreth:
Here's a reason.
476
00:50:52,412 --> 00:50:55,290
Kim Hildreth:
I'm like, well, why? What happened? Why? We just, like, dig.
477
00:50:55,340 --> 00:51:01,594
Kim Hildreth:
And we get to the point where she's like, I watched my mom hate cooking and be in charge of the kitchen.
478
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:04,338
Kim Hildreth:
And my dad, it was, like, gender role thing.
479
00:51:04,424 --> 00:51:10,054
Kim Hildreth:
It was very expected in her family that the women in the family were supposed to be in the kitchen.
480
00:51:10,162 --> 00:51:16,518
Kim Hildreth:
And even between her and her brother, like, her brother was never expected to do chores in the kitchen, and she always was.
481
00:51:16,544 --> 00:51:17,874
Kim Hildreth:
And her mom was like, well, you're a girl.
482
00:51:17,912 --> 00:51:19,062
Kim Hildreth:
I don't know what to tell you.
483
00:51:19,196 --> 00:51:26,010
Kim Hildreth:
And so now, as an adult, independent, badass woman who has her own business, she's, like, crushing everything.
484
00:51:26,180 --> 00:51:34,198
Kim Hildreth:
She's still hearing this rebellion in her head of like, I will not be a woman who's, like, stuck in the kitchen.
485
00:51:34,234 --> 00:51:36,838
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, okay, so don't be a woman who's stuck in the kitchen.
486
00:51:36,874 --> 00:51:42,814
Kim Hildreth:
That doesn't mean that she's like, well, if I start dating somebody and they see that I'm a good Cook, they're going to never Cook.
487
00:51:42,862 --> 00:51:44,322
Kim Hildreth:
They're going to be like, Well, I'm just not good at it.
488
00:51:44,336 --> 00:51:45,342
Kim Hildreth:
So you must do it.
489
00:51:45,416 --> 00:51:48,020
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, well, then just don't date somebody like that.
490
00:51:48,470 --> 00:51:52,134
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, we have that conversation when you get to it.
491
00:51:52,232 --> 00:51:52,566
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
492
00:51:52,628 --> 00:52:00,114
Kim Hildreth:
And it's like her realizing that that was what was holding her back from cooking, literally was the moment that she was like, this is crazy.
493
00:52:00,272 --> 00:52:07,302
Kim Hildreth:
I know I'm completely in control of the kind of relationship that I'm going to have, and I will never be in the same position as my mom because I won't let it happen.
494
00:52:07,436 --> 00:52:10,030
Kim Hildreth:
And that doesn't mean that I can't also be a badass Cook.
495
00:52:10,150 --> 00:52:12,166
Kim Hildreth:
And all of a sudden, she started cooking for herself.
496
00:52:12,298 --> 00:52:13,220
Mark Burik:
That's cool.
497
00:52:13,550 --> 00:52:15,020
Kim Hildreth:
It was really cool.
498
00:52:17,510 --> 00:52:20,526
Kim Hildreth:
You need to understand your pasts to be in control of your future.
499
00:52:20,588 --> 00:52:27,630
Kim Hildreth:
But I think the biggest thing that holds people back is, like, not knowing and kind of going way back to the awareness stuff that we were talking about. If you're not even aware, you can't change stuff that you're not aware of,
500
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:45,114
Mark Burik:
right? I think that's the people's biggest fear of therapy is you're going to go back, you're going to dive in and you're going to pull something up out of nowhere that's going to change my opinion on something or make me hate somebody or make me blame somebody.
501
00:52:45,272 --> 00:52:55,230
Mark Burik:
When it's not often what happens, you just kind of look at some initial reactions to things and you don't assess blame.
502
00:52:55,550 --> 00:53:01,520
Mark Burik:
You just say, oh, maybe this is an original reason why I think this way and that's it.
503
00:53:02,150 --> 00:53:04,230
Mark Burik:
You don't have to make changes from there.
504
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:07,280
Mark Burik:
You don't have to blame anybody or throw anybody under the bus.
505
00:53:08,030 --> 00:53:22,160
Mark Burik:
But you could at least at the very least, you could have the idea of a root cause, assess it and say, yeah, maybe I didn't like that originally because I was in that situation or because I saw somebody be in that situation.
506
00:53:22,730 --> 00:53:23,526
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
507
00:53:23,708 --> 00:53:35,694
Kim Hildreth:
And I think the thing that stumbles people the most is like that because of something that happened that you weren't totally conscious of, you start developing behaviors because of that.
508
00:53:35,852 --> 00:53:49,534
Kim Hildreth:
And then when you're a kid, a teenager in College, when none of us were aware of anything that we were doing, and then you get to be the point where you're like 30, 40, 50 years old, and you are like, I am so well practiced.
509
00:53:49,582 --> 00:53:54,810
Kim Hildreth:
I have put in thousands of hours of passing without locking my elbows.
510
00:53:56,150 --> 00:54:04,710
Kim Hildreth:
And it's like, why am I not a good passer? But I'm so good at this, and I'm actually a pretty good passer like this because I've practiced it so much.
511
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:11,206
Kim Hildreth:
But there's a whole nother level of improvement that's available to you if you just block your elbows.
512
00:54:11,278 --> 00:54:13,820
Kim Hildreth:
But it's going to be hard because you've never practiced that before.
513
00:54:14,210 --> 00:54:16,734
Kim Hildreth:
I love using volleyball analogies in my right.
514
00:54:16,772 --> 00:54:21,330
Mark Burik:
No, because you had some random elbow injury when you started volleyball.
515
00:54:21,830 --> 00:54:25,530
Mark Burik:
Maybe that was happening, like one hyperextension feel.
516
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,310
Mark Burik:
And you're like, oh, that stung.
517
00:54:27,370 --> 00:54:29,218
Mark Burik:
So now I can never leave my arm straight.
518
00:54:29,254 --> 00:54:30,870
Mark Burik:
And you figured it out.
519
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:34,798
Kim Hildreth:
And maybe no one ever told you because you'd never really gotten a good coach.
520
00:54:34,894 --> 00:54:39,526
Kim Hildreth:
No one ever told you that locking your elbows would actually make you a better passer.
521
00:54:39,718 --> 00:54:49,806
Kim Hildreth:
And then you're like 40 years old, ten or 15 years into your volleyball career, and you're like, what?
522
00:54:49,868 --> 00:55:05,838
Mark Burik:
And all your partners look at you and like, that's wrong. But they don't have the question of, why don't you straighten your elbows? They just look at you and say, crappy passer instead of looking at you and say, have you ever tried straightening your elbows? I think a lot of partnerships could do better for that.
523
00:55:05,864 --> 00:55:10,558
Mark Burik:
If there's a little exposure, a little call out of here's what I think you do poorly.
524
00:55:10,654 --> 00:55:12,370
Mark Burik:
Here's how I would be a vulnerability.
525
00:55:12,550 --> 00:55:16,578
Mark Burik:
It does, especially because they could be, like, through you.
526
00:55:16,724 --> 00:55:17,886
Kim Hildreth:
I know better than you.
527
00:55:17,948 --> 00:55:19,134
Kim Hildreth:
Or like, I don't want to hear it.
528
00:55:19,172 --> 00:55:20,430
Kim Hildreth:
I don't want your advice.
529
00:55:22,190 --> 00:55:24,740
Kim Hildreth:
That vulnerability part wrapped back up.
530
00:55:25,250 --> 00:55:28,314
Mark Burik:
Yeah, it's nice.
531
00:55:28,352 --> 00:55:29,326
Mark Burik:
It's a little advantage.
532
00:55:29,398 --> 00:55:42,178
Mark Burik:
And I did this little exercise, I guess it's two, three years ago where I shot a message to my last five partners, and I shot a message and I said, hey, I just want your honest opinion.
533
00:55:42,214 --> 00:55:43,014
Mark Burik:
You don't have to take long.
534
00:55:43,052 --> 00:56:08,420
Mark Burik:
You don't have to go short, but I go, what was the worst part about playing with me? That's what I want to know what was the worst part about playing with me? And it turned out that my expectations of each point were just super high for each point, and that there was always this feeling of pressure and that somebody could or should be doing more.
535
00:56:09,530 --> 00:56:15,800
Mark Burik:
And yeah, I put all that pressure on myself my whole life of, like, should be doing more, could be doing more.
536
00:56:16,310 --> 00:56:19,098
Mark Burik:
And I can imagine that that's not fun to play with.
537
00:56:19,124 --> 00:57:08,338
Mark Burik:
And then as soon as I got those responses, I looked at, she wasn't my fiance yet then, but I was like, oh, my God, can you imagine living every day with somebody who makes you feel like you could and should be doing more? Like, you're never quite living up to their expectations? And so then I had to learn to start just straight up celebrating people more instead of thinking in what I thought positively was like a coach mindset of, yeah, as a good leader, I can help you become the best version of yourself instead of, how do I celebrate who you are right now and you'll take yourself to the next place? That was a really important exercise for me that I encourage everyone to do, even the bad breakups.
538
00:57:08,434 --> 00:57:11,730
Mark Burik:
Like, hey, no, we haven't talked to since last season.
539
00:57:12,530 --> 00:57:13,822
Mark Burik:
We're not playing together anymore.
540
00:57:13,846 --> 00:57:37,038
Mark Burik:
But I just want to know, what do you think? Like, what's the skill that you think I'm weakest at? And what was the worst part about playing with me? And I think a lot of people would get very surprising answers, but that's a terrifying exercise because not one of them said, what was the worst part about playing with me? Yeah, once you opened it up one way, it didn't come back the other way.
541
00:57:37,064 --> 00:57:38,718
Mark Burik:
And you're like, yeah, all right, cool.
542
00:57:38,804 --> 00:57:40,962
Mark Burik:
If you don't want to know, then that's fine.
543
00:57:41,096 --> 00:57:51,238
Kim Hildreth:
That's exactly what we were talking about earlier, though, is like, that is being vulnerable, because that's definitely going to be something hard to hear and something again, like you said, that might not be like reciprocal.
544
00:57:51,274 --> 00:57:54,214
Kim Hildreth:
It's always easier if you're like, oh, this is a mutual exercise exercise.
545
00:57:54,262 --> 00:57:57,450
Kim Hildreth:
We're both going to tell each other the shit that's going on.
546
00:57:57,620 --> 00:57:59,706
Kim Hildreth:
It's harder when it's one way for sure.
547
00:57:59,828 --> 00:58:06,082
Kim Hildreth:
And it's exactly what we talked about with like, you don't know what you don't know.
548
00:58:06,156 --> 00:58:09,830
Kim Hildreth:
And judging people for what they don't know is just stupid.
549
00:58:09,890 --> 00:58:13,366
Kim Hildreth:
That's just never going to be able to read somebody's mind.
550
00:58:13,428 --> 00:58:14,254
Kim Hildreth:
You're never going to be.
551
00:58:14,292 --> 00:58:16,114
Kim Hildreth:
And no one should expect to read your mind.
552
00:58:16,212 --> 00:58:22,010
Kim Hildreth:
So the fact that you went out of your way to develop awareness, which is what we talked about earlier.
553
00:58:22,070 --> 00:58:29,974
Kim Hildreth:
So now probably in a match, in a live match, you are probably able to be like, I'm doing a thing where I'm setting the expectations really high.
554
00:58:30,012 --> 00:58:34,342
Kim Hildreth:
I can see my partner struggling because of it, and I can change now because I know it.
555
00:58:34,416 --> 00:58:37,342
Kim Hildreth:
And you couldn't do that before because you didn't even know what was happening.
556
00:58:37,536 --> 00:58:37,894
Kim Hildreth:
Right.
557
00:58:37,932 --> 00:58:39,310
Kim Hildreth:
So pretty powerful.
558
00:58:39,630 --> 00:58:40,246
Mark Burik:
It is.
559
00:58:40,308 --> 00:58:41,950
Mark Burik:
It's crazy powerful.
560
00:58:42,870 --> 00:58:51,974
Mark Burik:
And it's nice to be able to realize that to hold certain things back that have become automatic for yourself and say, like, maybe it doesn't have to be automatic.
561
00:58:52,082 --> 00:58:53,340
Mark Burik:
I still have a line.
562
00:58:54,450 --> 00:59:02,810
Mark Burik:
I still like with Dave in this last tournament, at some point, he didn't Peel once, didn't Peel twice on very offsets.
563
00:59:02,930 --> 00:59:04,582
Mark Burik:
And then the last one, I let him have it.
564
00:59:04,596 --> 00:59:06,600
Mark Burik:
I was like, you have to get off the net.
565
00:59:07,710 --> 00:59:09,706
Mark Burik:
And I didn't let go of it.
566
00:59:09,768 --> 00:59:10,858
Mark Burik:
But then I let him know right away.
567
00:59:10,884 --> 00:59:14,174
Mark Burik:
I was like, great for the next point, but let's Peel.
568
00:59:14,222 --> 00:59:14,950
Mark Burik:
We're going to get points.
569
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:15,602
Mark Burik:
Everybody's weak.
570
00:59:15,626 --> 00:59:18,302
Mark Burik:
It's too windy and they're going to hit deep.
571
00:59:18,326 --> 00:59:19,378
Mark Burik:
So let's get out of there.
572
00:59:19,464 --> 00:59:22,274
Mark Burik:
But he did get a couple of blocks by staying.
573
00:59:22,442 --> 00:59:27,494
Mark Burik:
It's just I felt we could control the ball a little bit more if we were peeling in some situations.
574
00:59:27,602 --> 00:59:38,134
Mark Burik:
But I would have years ago, I would have been like, what are you doing? Or I would have stayed quiet to make sure that he was happy, would have done that.
575
00:59:38,172 --> 00:59:46,858
Mark Burik:
But then saying anything, then he would, yeah, you don't rock the boat, but then you get this tension of you're like, he's still not getting it.
576
00:59:46,884 --> 00:59:49,978
Mark Burik:
He's still not getting it because you haven't told him anything.
577
00:59:50,064 --> 00:59:53,230
Mark Burik:
You haven't shared what you expected or said. Do you think you should Peel there?
578
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:59,710
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah, I actually think that is a more interesting way to do it.
579
00:59:59,820 --> 01:00:01,258
Kim Hildreth:
Not that I'm great at it myself.
580
01:00:01,404 --> 01:00:08,100
Kim Hildreth:
I'm very similar to you in that way of like, I'm either telling it all or holding back completely.
581
01:00:08,550 --> 01:00:18,910
Kim Hildreth:
But I think the way that I've tried to approach it is like as much as I might know the person I'm playing with and know their game really well, I don't know it as well as they know it.
582
01:00:19,020 --> 01:00:23,326
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm sure there's a reason why they're staying or not.
583
01:00:23,448 --> 01:00:28,402
Kim Hildreth:
To use your example, like, Dave knows his own game better than you know his game.
584
01:00:28,476 --> 01:00:39,120
Kim Hildreth:
So I wonder what his and it's tough because in an actual tournament situation, it's like you have seconds to communicate this, right? So there's not always time for this.
585
01:00:40,170 --> 01:00:54,106
Kim Hildreth:
Personally, this year is one of the things I'm working on is trying to find the ways and like the speed and the timing and whatever of having these little conversations, because at the end of the day in these tournaments, you're not making the main draw by two points pretty much every time.
586
01:00:54,168 --> 01:01:01,210
Kim Hildreth:
So to get that one point where you do pull and you do get the thing or he does stay, but he does it differently.
587
01:01:02,010 --> 01:01:09,766
Kim Hildreth:
That is a difference in a match, and that's the difference in maybe your career, because 2019 best year on the AVP so far, right.
588
01:01:09,888 --> 01:01:11,842
Kim Hildreth:
The only reason 2019 was my best year.
589
01:01:11,856 --> 01:01:16,010
Kim Hildreth:
And the only reason I made the finals in 2019 was because I wanted my two points in the qualifier.
590
01:01:16,130 --> 01:01:21,454
Kim Hildreth:
So if those two points had gone a different way, I might never have made a main draw.
591
01:01:21,612 --> 01:01:23,302
Kim Hildreth:
I might never have developed points.
592
01:01:23,376 --> 01:01:25,886
Kim Hildreth:
So it's like, really, it can change your career.
593
01:01:25,958 --> 01:01:28,920
Kim Hildreth:
And so I wonder how.
594
01:01:30,030 --> 01:01:38,760
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm curious what you think, too, but if you some way are like, the intention of the question is, my perception is this is not working.
595
01:01:39,090 --> 01:01:43,678
Kim Hildreth:
You probably have a good reason why you're staying and you know the game really well, too.
596
01:01:43,824 --> 01:02:03,754
Kim Hildreth:
Like, why are you staying and what are you trying to get out of it? And like, let's agree on a plan together based on my strengths, too, you know, and I don't know how to communicate that very quickly yet, but something I'm working on because especially when you play with a bunch of different people, like, I might go show up at a turn.
597
01:02:03,792 --> 01:02:04,802
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I'm Austin.
598
01:02:04,886 --> 01:02:06,862
Kim Hildreth:
I've never played with Katie Spieler in my life.
599
01:02:06,936 --> 01:02:10,140
Kim Hildreth:
So we're going to show up and, like, have to do really fast.
600
01:02:13,110 --> 01:02:16,634
Kim Hildreth:
So I think it's a really huge part of the sport.
601
01:02:16,682 --> 01:02:20,400
Kim Hildreth:
That's something that we can all get better at, for sure.
602
01:02:20,790 --> 01:02:21,540
Mark Burik:
Yeah.
603
01:02:21,990 --> 01:02:23,758
Mark Burik:
We kind of take it over.
604
01:02:23,784 --> 01:02:29,794
Mark Burik:
We have this little form, that partner profile that it makes you define certain place.
605
01:02:29,952 --> 01:02:35,294
Mark Burik:
So it says, like, you actually have to name and describe your exact set height.
606
01:02:35,402 --> 01:02:51,854
Mark Burik:
Do you like it? How many feet off the net do you want it? How far from the setter do you want it? What about in transition? Do you like to come back and be fast or do you like everything to slow down and transition? We give people that on the partner profile.
607
01:02:51,902 --> 01:03:04,366
Mark Burik:
But I think, first of all, having that conversation beforehand and just both go through a one page exercise of describe your set to me and not kind of with you.
608
01:03:04,488 --> 01:03:17,914
Mark Burik:
I want to stay close, learn to describe your actual set as if it was a flow chart on an architect scheme, right? Yes.
609
01:03:18,072 --> 01:03:19,298
Mark Burik:
I need inches.
610
01:03:19,454 --> 01:03:24,734
Mark Burik:
How high above the antenna do you actually want it? Because Dave said top of the antenna.
611
01:03:24,782 --> 01:03:26,820
Mark Burik:
And I set him a few balls and he's like, higher.
612
01:03:27,270 --> 01:03:30,602
Mark Burik:
I was like, okay, so you want this ball four balls above the top of the antenna.
613
01:03:30,746 --> 01:03:32,582
Mark Burik:
That's your antenna ball.
614
01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:33,142
Mark Burik:
Yeah.
615
01:03:33,216 --> 01:03:34,918
Mark Burik:
And so that's one kind of way to describe it.
616
01:03:34,944 --> 01:03:53,700
Mark Burik:
But I think what do you think here? What do you think in this situation, especially as soon as it's exposed? But as a player, you need to have the main things as a conversation out of the way before you play.
617
01:03:54,090 --> 01:04:10,018
Mark Burik:
Do you want to run faster or slower in transition? Do you want to Peel more or block more? Do you know anything about this player? I like the do you know anything about this player? Have you ever beaten them in some situations.
618
01:04:10,104 --> 01:04:17,002
Kim Hildreth:
I would actually change those to more open ended questions If it were me, I would say, what do you know about this player? Because that's the only way to answer that question is to provide information.
619
01:04:17,136 --> 01:04:23,002
Kim Hildreth:
And asking do you know anything is like, no, I don't like, really? You know, nothing.
620
01:04:23,136 --> 01:04:25,020
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I don't believe you.
621
01:04:25,470 --> 01:04:26,890
Mark Burik:
Eight years on tour.
622
01:04:28,470 --> 01:04:28,942
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
623
01:04:29,016 --> 01:04:37,270
Kim Hildreth:
It's like asking me if I come and say, hey, Mark, did you have a good day? It's like, well, if I say yes, then I had a good day.
624
01:04:37,380 --> 01:04:39,598
Kim Hildreth:
And if I say no, then I had a bad day.
625
01:04:39,684 --> 01:04:43,030
Kim Hildreth:
But what if I didn't have either? So now I'm like, stuck.
626
01:04:43,350 --> 01:04:47,242
Kim Hildreth:
Can you just ask me, like, how was your day? And then I can tell you what I want.
627
01:04:47,376 --> 01:04:51,062
Kim Hildreth:
I think open ended questions in these situations can be, like, really helpful.
628
01:04:51,146 --> 01:04:51,646
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
629
01:04:51,768 --> 01:05:07,478
Mark Burik:
What do you do for lunch? Start at least some kind of information flow? Yeah, for me at least coming with new partners, it's about having those talks first and then literally dialing the set in.
630
01:05:07,564 --> 01:05:14,702
Mark Burik:
I think the most important part is going to be the set because that's your eight, nine out of ten.
631
01:05:14,836 --> 01:05:19,598
Mark Burik:
So you have to know situationally like, okay, but if you pass off the net, I know what you want.
632
01:05:19,624 --> 01:05:23,078
Mark Burik:
In a perfect when we're doing hitting lines, I know what you want there.
633
01:05:23,164 --> 01:05:41,874
Mark Burik:
But what if you pass at half court? What if you pass two thirds back into the court? Are you going to flow or you're still going to stay narrow? So that's why when I show up with a new partner, I'll catch the ball and I'll say, okay, pass me a half court, pass me a three quarters court.
634
01:05:41,922 --> 01:05:46,230
Mark Burik:
Where do you want this one? Where do you want this one? And I'll say, Pass me to the antenna.
635
01:05:46,350 --> 01:05:51,134
Mark Burik:
Are you going to follow me all the way, or do you want me to keep pushing that? Because I can push it if you want.
636
01:05:51,292 --> 01:05:59,930
Mark Burik:
So just tackling those kind of everyday situations quick and establishing a general rule for that is a very good thing.
637
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:03,470
Mark Burik:
But all of these people who say, no, that was perfect.
638
01:06:03,580 --> 01:06:04,490
Mark Burik:
That was a great set.
639
01:06:04,540 --> 01:06:05,210
Mark Burik:
Just like that.
640
01:06:05,260 --> 01:06:08,342
Mark Burik:
You need to tell me why it was a great set.
641
01:06:08,416 --> 01:06:15,770
Mark Burik:
What about it? What numerical values made it a ten out of ten? And personally, I love playing with Adam Roberts.
642
01:06:16,450 --> 01:06:17,620
Mark Burik:
He's great at that.
643
01:06:18,130 --> 01:06:19,346
Mark Burik:
That's his main question.
644
01:06:19,408 --> 01:06:22,206
Mark Burik:
And I picked that up from him, and I use it with every partner.
645
01:06:22,338 --> 01:06:32,380
Mark Burik:
He goes, Is that a ten out of ten? Was it a nine out of ten? Was it an eight out of ten? What would make it a ten? And that series of questions is what he goes through after he sets you.
646
01:06:33,670 --> 01:06:35,918
Mark Burik:
Okay? So he really gets to know it.
647
01:06:35,944 --> 01:06:39,040
Mark Burik:
And I definitely have stolen that from him completely.
648
01:06:39,970 --> 01:06:42,434
Kim Hildreth:
Again, another benefit of playing with different people.
649
01:06:42,532 --> 01:06:44,102
Kim Hildreth:
You get little tidbits like that.
650
01:06:44,176 --> 01:06:50,930
Mark Burik:
Well, man, we didn't get too much volleyball, but in a way, this is everything volleyball.
651
01:06:51,430 --> 01:06:53,690
Mark Burik:
I do just want to ask you one question.
652
01:06:53,740 --> 01:07:19,240
Mark Burik:
Just for the people who are out there and training and want to be like you, what are you? What weaknesses are you currently working on and how are you trying to fix them in your game?
653
01:07:19,690 --> 01:07:40,250
Kim Hildreth:
I think the biggest thing that I'm trying to do in my game is really almost what we've been talking about this whole time is, like, really just trying to play more authentically to me. I think I found myself giving up control of my career to other people for different reasons and really stopped being myself on the court to try to make it work with people, like, with different partner situations.
654
01:07:40,810 --> 01:07:48,522
Kim Hildreth:
And I think the only thing that left me with is, like, a lack of confidence in myself because I'm not myself on the court.
655
01:07:48,546 --> 01:08:07,950
Kim Hildreth:
So how am I supposed to play my best when I'm not feeling like I can be myself? And so getting back to being myself and playing, I think the coolest part about this sport is, like there are so many cool ways to play, and you can be so creative or you can be so basic.
656
01:08:08,010 --> 01:08:14,670
Kim Hildreth:
Like, you can be Dylan Nick and set a Skyball to each other for years for like nine years and still be really successful.
657
01:08:14,730 --> 01:08:23,810
Kim Hildreth:
Or you can be the Swiss boys that are new to town and jump setting and running the indoor offense, and there's so many different ways to succeed.
658
01:08:25,030 --> 01:08:36,710
Kim Hildreth:
So I think my biggest weakness right now that I'm working through is, like, just rebuilding a little bit of lack of self trust in my volleyball career.
659
01:08:37,570 --> 01:08:44,138
Kim Hildreth:
And I think there's a lot of very valid reasons why I lost that trust and where I lost my way a little bit.
660
01:08:44,164 --> 01:08:52,850
Kim Hildreth:
And I think this is like the first year that I felt as confident in my preparation as I used to.
661
01:08:53,020 --> 01:08:58,758
Kim Hildreth:
I think the pandemic obviously threw all of us off, and this is like my first year really feeling like I had the off seasons.
662
01:08:58,794 --> 01:09:07,660
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I used to have, like, the training, weight lifting, everything else in my life kind of stability that I needed to feel confident in myself.
663
01:09:08,170 --> 01:09:18,362
Kim Hildreth:
And I think I learned a lot in the last couple of years having that lack of stability in our sport about what I needed, which take it or leave it.
664
01:09:18,376 --> 01:09:21,626
Kim Hildreth:
It would have been cool without it, but I learned a lot about myself with it.
665
01:09:21,808 --> 01:09:22,540
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
666
01:09:24,550 --> 01:09:28,106
Kim Hildreth:
And I think a lot of the conversations we had there is exactly what I'm working on.
667
01:09:28,168 --> 01:09:36,378
Kim Hildreth:
I think a lot of people I've played within the last year probably wouldn't even be able to give me an accurate answer to what you asked your old partners.
668
01:09:36,414 --> 01:09:45,220
Kim Hildreth:
Like, what's the worst part about playing with me? Because I don't even know if I would want to ask them because I don't even feel like I played like myself when I played with them.
669
01:09:46,690 --> 01:09:50,922
Kim Hildreth:
It's been an interesting new thing that I've never really had to deal with in my career.
670
01:09:50,946 --> 01:09:57,122
Kim Hildreth:
I've always, like kind of unashamedly played like myself with whatever I bring to the court that day.
671
01:09:57,196 --> 01:10:06,640
Kim Hildreth:
So it's been interesting and it's taken a lot of new approaches to the game that I haven't really done before.
672
01:10:07,090 --> 01:10:16,062
Kim Hildreth:
I haven't really been the kind of person to do a lot of in practice, self reflection or take notes or whatever.
673
01:10:16,136 --> 01:10:22,294
Kim Hildreth:
And I've been a lot more of that this year because I needed what we've talked about in this conversation.
674
01:10:22,402 --> 01:10:26,850
Kim Hildreth:
I really needed that awareness and I really needed perspective.
675
01:10:27,590 --> 01:10:32,850
Kim Hildreth:
So it took me like bringing in a coach that I really trust prelima.
676
01:10:33,170 --> 01:10:45,860
Kim Hildreth:
We've had like a really crazy relationship over the last eight years where we've hated each other, not talked to each other, work together, and now she's really been one of the most important people to bring me back to playing like myself, which I'm really thankful for.
677
01:10:46,310 --> 01:10:47,914
Kim Hildreth:
So, yeah, I'm excited.
678
01:10:47,962 --> 01:10:53,898
Kim Hildreth:
I feel like season is kind of just starting, but I really feel like I've played a lot of tournaments already where I've worked through a lot of it.
679
01:10:53,924 --> 01:11:02,406
Kim Hildreth:
So I'm really excited for Austin next week and to get a chance to be on the court on a big stage where I'm fully playing like myself.
680
01:11:02,468 --> 01:11:03,930
Kim Hildreth:
I'm pretty excited about that.
681
01:11:04,100 --> 01:11:05,120
Mark Burik:
That's awesome.
682
01:11:06,710 --> 01:11:12,486
Mark Burik:
I'm sure that there are a lot of people out there, and every time I say that on that podcast, it's because it's what I think.
683
01:11:12,668 --> 01:11:24,440
Mark Burik:
So I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that go through the process of trying to figure out what type of player they actually are or should be.
684
01:11:24,770 --> 01:11:41,250
Mark Burik:
Should I be hyped up all the time? Should I be the guy that has the chip on my shoulder? Should I just sleepwalk and chill? Should I be the guy who fires my partner up all the time and discovering that is, I think, a difficult process because you guess you don't measure.
685
01:11:41,750 --> 01:11:49,426
Mark Burik:
So you say, like, you know what? I'm going to be all hyped up today and then you don't actually go back after that day and measure your performance.
686
01:11:49,558 --> 01:12:15,980
Mark Burik:
Say, all right, when I was completely rowdy, was I hitting better? Was my side out better? If I embraced this personality for however long, what was my actual play like? So for you, my question would be, how does somebody you said reflection, you gave us one tool, but how does somebody discover and try to play like themselves?
687
01:12:16,790 --> 01:12:18,774
Kim Hildreth:
I mean, I think that's the on and off the court process for sure. I think you can measure it.
688
01:12:18,812 --> 01:12:28,940
Kim Hildreth:
I think it's like just whether or not you're, like, winging it or whether or not you're actually having a plan, you know, it's not really an experiment if I don't measure it and plan for it.
689
01:12:31,190 --> 01:12:35,060
Kim Hildreth:
So this is something that I talked to some of the girls that I trained with all the time.
690
01:12:35,390 --> 01:12:41,626
Kim Hildreth:
You should be using practice to practice, being the person you want to be in a game and practice.
691
01:12:41,698 --> 01:12:50,950
Kim Hildreth:
So there's been practices where if your coach is, like, on you and you are like a hot mess and you're like, you need to leave me alone.
692
01:12:51,070 --> 01:12:52,662
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I need space, whatever.
693
01:12:52,736 --> 01:12:53,298
Kim Hildreth:
And they're not.
694
01:12:53,324 --> 01:13:02,730
Kim Hildreth:
And they're just like, honestly, I've been in a match where the crowd was doing that to me, so I'm not going to stop my coach from doing that to me.
695
01:13:02,780 --> 01:13:07,698
Kim Hildreth:
I'm going to take a second to be like, okay, I've been in this situation before.
696
01:13:07,844 --> 01:13:10,280
Kim Hildreth:
I've watched myself react in this way.
697
01:13:10,730 --> 01:13:14,286
Kim Hildreth:
This time I'm going to try doing a variety of things.
698
01:13:14,348 --> 01:13:17,300
Kim Hildreth:
Like, you could try hugging your partner after every play.
699
01:13:17,750 --> 01:13:21,630
Kim Hildreth:
You could try going on your knees and cheering to the crowd after every play.
700
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:27,846
Kim Hildreth:
You could try just, like, having chit chat in the whole play and just being kind of, like, obnoxiously over it.
701
01:13:27,968 --> 01:13:30,622
Kim Hildreth:
Or you could try being, like, tunnel vision.
702
01:13:30,766 --> 01:13:46,410
Kim Hildreth:
It's like actually making it a plan, committing to it, and doing it for a period of time and then being like you said, how did I feel about how I played? I don't even know if I would say, Did I pass better or Did I hit better? Because you can't control all of those things necessarily.
703
01:13:46,850 --> 01:13:51,546
Kim Hildreth:
You can control, though, and your confidence level can be in a certain place.
704
01:13:51,608 --> 01:14:09,042
Kim Hildreth:
I think I would probably personally measure it by my confidence level of like, when I did this, I felt like myself, and I was like, I can play like myself because even when I'm playing like myself, it's not always, like, my best, but at least I'm like, present, right?
705
01:14:09,176 --> 01:14:20,970
Mark Burik:
I think that's got to be so hard. It's such a challenge, but it's so hard to have a situation that you're used to just having an emotional reaction to and instead treating it as if you're untying a knot.
706
01:14:22,730 --> 01:14:42,034
Mark Burik:
Should I pull this side? Should I pull this side? Should I take it with my nails or my teeth? Taking this thing that you hate, feeling you're mad or you're angry or you just want to kill whoever's talking or whoever's next to you and saying the emotions right now are a problem that I can solve.
707
01:14:42,082 --> 01:14:56,370
Mark Burik:
So how do I make this situation different? Or how do I change myself here so that I'm not just being emotionally reactive and that I'm actually controlling the next step? I think that's huge.
708
01:14:56,420 --> 01:15:04,810
Kim Hildreth:
I think that's probably the biggest challenge, which is why I think beach volleyball, one of the requirements to be a really good player in beach volleyball is emotional intelligence.
709
01:15:04,870 --> 01:15:10,590
Kim Hildreth:
I mean, I think people underestimate like, that is not something that you should only be practicing on the court.
710
01:15:11,810 --> 01:15:17,262
Kim Hildreth:
Like, if I come home and I'm having an argument with my husband, okay, I'm going to do the same thing.
711
01:15:17,336 --> 01:15:19,990
Kim Hildreth:
Like, I'm going to realize that I'm getting upset.
712
01:15:20,170 --> 01:15:27,702
Kim Hildreth:
I'm going to be like, what did I make for myself as a plan to try when I'm upset? This way, I'm going to do it and see what happens.
713
01:15:27,776 --> 01:15:40,266
Kim Hildreth:
Do I like it? Did I feel like it worked out? It's not something like people say all the time there's those players who are, like, acting when they play, and you're like, this guy's such a Dick when he's on the court, but off the court, he's such a cool guy.
714
01:15:40,328 --> 01:15:43,280
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm like, I just don't believe that.
715
01:15:44,270 --> 01:15:46,350
Kim Hildreth:
I think who you are is who you are.
716
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:57,102
Kim Hildreth:
And I think if you choose to play like someone who is a Dick sometimes on the court and that works for you, that's awesome.
717
01:15:57,176 --> 01:15:59,202
Kim Hildreth:
And I'm not going to be one to judge you for that.
718
01:15:59,276 --> 01:16:05,938
Kim Hildreth:
I don't think that necessarily makes you a bad person, but I think it is how you handle situations.
719
01:16:05,974 --> 01:16:12,826
Kim Hildreth:
Like, if I were to push you emotionally off the court, I can have a good guess about how you're going to respond.
720
01:16:13,018 --> 01:16:15,930
Mark Burik:
Wow, I completely disagree.
721
01:16:17,930 --> 01:16:22,520
Mark Burik:
I take a look at the field of battle as that's who they are in that situation.
722
01:16:22,850 --> 01:16:27,534
Kim Hildreth:
But you're not just battling on the court like you battle off the court, too.
723
01:16:27,692 --> 01:16:30,810
Mark Burik:
Yeah, but those are completely different types of battles.
724
01:16:31,490 --> 01:16:35,910
Mark Burik:
I'm not going to get in a hand to hand combat the same way that I would play Monopoly.
725
01:16:37,250 --> 01:16:42,126
Mark Burik:
There's going to be a very different level of reaction there.
726
01:16:42,188 --> 01:16:48,190
Mark Burik:
And I think that's part of the beauty of sport is also that it is part acting.
727
01:16:48,250 --> 01:16:52,522
Mark Burik:
Like you get to choose your character on the court.
728
01:16:52,666 --> 01:16:59,562
Mark Burik:
And maybe you're right in saying that, okay, at some point, you have to play like yourself who you are. But maybe your basketball self, your tennis self, your volleyball self is incredibly different than your living room self, you know?
729
01:16:59,636 --> 01:17:18,394
Kim Hildreth:
So I'm not saying on day to day, I'm saying when you get pushed to the point where it's make or break on the court, I don't think that you're a different person, that you are off the court on the court.
730
01:17:18,502 --> 01:17:33,078
Kim Hildreth:
So I would ask you if you feel like when you last time you had an argument with somebody that was really important to you and there was, like a huge disagreement, I wonder how much you feel like you were acting in that moment versus just letting yourself be.
731
01:17:33,104 --> 01:17:34,542
Kim Hildreth:
However you felt like being.
732
01:17:34,736 --> 01:17:37,050
Mark Burik:
I felt like it controlled the reactions.
733
01:17:38,270 --> 01:17:40,650
Kim Hildreth:
It's controlling the reaction, not acting.
734
01:17:41,510 --> 01:17:41,874
Kim Hildreth:
Yes.
735
01:17:41,912 --> 01:17:47,706
Kim Hildreth:
Because I think when I've gotten upset before, I could just let it be like, screw you.
736
01:17:47,768 --> 01:17:58,878
Kim Hildreth:
Like, it would feel so good to just, like, let it all out that person, or I could act because I know that I know what would happen if I let myself fully let go.
737
01:17:58,964 --> 01:18:00,594
Kim Hildreth:
And that's not the reaction I want to have.
738
01:18:00,632 --> 01:18:07,206
Kim Hildreth:
So it's same on the court to me is that I could react in a certain way, but I might not get what I want.
739
01:18:07,388 --> 01:18:16,138
Kim Hildreth:
So, like, for example, there's been games where I've played, like, girls coming out of College, and they're hot and they're emotional and they, like, feed off of your anger.
740
01:18:16,174 --> 01:18:21,174
Kim Hildreth:
And so the first time I played some girls that used to play in College, like, they pissed me off.
741
01:18:21,212 --> 01:18:22,474
Kim Hildreth:
Their parents were super annoying.
742
01:18:22,522 --> 01:18:25,242
Kim Hildreth:
So I was like, okay, I can play that game.
743
01:18:25,316 --> 01:18:27,138
Kim Hildreth:
So I was giving it to them.
744
01:18:27,164 --> 01:18:28,426
Kim Hildreth:
We were going back and forth.
745
01:18:28,558 --> 01:18:29,190
Kim Hildreth:
Oh, my God.
746
01:18:29,240 --> 01:18:31,818
Kim Hildreth:
They were, like, playing the best ball they've ever played in their lives.
747
01:18:31,904 --> 01:18:38,418
Kim Hildreth:
Second time I played them, I was like, I wonder what's going to happen if I'm just, like, so fucking friendly the whole match.
748
01:18:38,504 --> 01:18:45,990
Kim Hildreth:
So before the match, I just went and sat and chatted next to them, and I was like, not like, I don't actually want to know them.
749
01:18:46,100 --> 01:18:50,326
Kim Hildreth:
Everybody in the beach volleyball world is cool, but I want to control how they're going to act on the court.
750
01:18:50,458 --> 01:18:53,814
Kim Hildreth:
So in between side switches, like, high five in that.
751
01:18:53,912 --> 01:18:55,198
Kim Hildreth:
That was a great swing.
752
01:18:55,354 --> 01:18:58,878
Kim Hildreth:
And, like, man, they did not have the energy they had the last time I played them.
753
01:18:59,024 --> 01:19:10,700
Kim Hildreth:
So I feel like it's acting, and I certainly believe that I do that when I'm, like, in any way, like, getting put in a position where I might not.
754
01:19:11,030 --> 01:19:19,786
Kim Hildreth:
Who you let yourself be and who you choose to be is the difference between I feel like acting and not, you know, but choosing to be someone I think can still be authentic.
755
01:19:19,858 --> 01:19:24,090
Mark Burik:
It can be, yeah, because I think chameleons can be authentic.
756
01:19:25,310 --> 01:19:26,480
Mark Burik:
I really do.
757
01:19:28,130 --> 01:19:30,342
Mark Burik:
Trevor Noah, I think he talked about that.
758
01:19:30,356 --> 01:19:34,054
Mark Burik:
He's like, yes, essentially.
759
01:19:34,222 --> 01:19:38,060
Mark Burik:
He said, I can be, like, black when I'm black with my South African friends.
760
01:19:38,450 --> 01:19:41,998
Mark Burik:
I can be a talk show host, a celebrity talk show host.
761
01:19:42,034 --> 01:19:47,022
Mark Burik:
I can be somebody that tears you apart because I believe what you're doing is wrong.
762
01:19:47,096 --> 01:19:49,182
Mark Burik:
And I will put you, like, to a point.
763
01:19:49,256 --> 01:20:04,100
Mark Burik:
And he's like, the power of a chameleon is probably one of the most it should be feared the most because you can slide into any environment and do and get what you want because of your ability to change.
764
01:20:04,490 --> 01:20:06,250
Kim Hildreth:
But I think that can be authentic.
765
01:20:06,370 --> 01:20:09,234
Kim Hildreth:
I think that everyone has all of these.
766
01:20:09,392 --> 01:20:12,702
Kim Hildreth:
It's like how you can have a bunch of different kinds of best friends.
767
01:20:12,836 --> 01:20:22,410
Kim Hildreth:
It's like, I have a best friend who's my day to day person, and we can go to the grocery store together or, like, I have my best friend who I could take a badass trip with, and we can have a great time or, like, I can tell this friend about these things.
768
01:20:22,460 --> 01:20:28,074
Kim Hildreth:
It's like you have different colors of your personality that manifests in different ways.
769
01:20:28,112 --> 01:20:30,114
Kim Hildreth:
And I think that's exactly it.
770
01:20:30,152 --> 01:20:38,178
Kim Hildreth:
It's like, I can choose to pull out what part of my personality I need, but I don't think that that changes based on I don't think it changes who you are.
771
01:20:38,204 --> 01:20:43,340
Kim Hildreth:
I don't think Trevor knows a different person because he's acting differently with his black friends than he is with his white friends.
772
01:20:43,670 --> 01:20:46,650
Kim Hildreth:
He's still the same person, in my opinion.
773
01:20:48,390 --> 01:20:49,006
Mark Burik:
Yeah.
774
01:20:49,128 --> 01:20:58,298
Mark Burik:
To be determined on if the person on the court and their personality there is the same as the person off the court.
775
01:20:58,454 --> 01:21:11,400
Mark Burik:
To me, I've always let people be whoever they want to be on the court, and I will not judge them until I'm not seeing them compete and feeling their competition against me.
776
01:21:12,330 --> 01:21:17,222
Mark Burik:
I know that people will be a jerk to me on a court, and I'll definitely be a jerk to them on a court.
777
01:21:17,366 --> 01:21:20,530
Mark Burik:
But I don't treat people like that socially.
778
01:21:21,450 --> 01:21:21,814
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
779
01:21:21,852 --> 01:21:24,538
Kim Hildreth:
But you're in a different environment, but it's still you.
780
01:21:24,624 --> 01:21:31,200
Kim Hildreth:
If you needed that part of your personality in a social situation, I think you would do it.
781
01:21:32,010 --> 01:21:32,338
Mark Burik:
Yeah.
782
01:21:32,364 --> 01:21:36,034
Mark Burik:
I can definitely go to that if I needed wanted to.
783
01:21:36,192 --> 01:21:36,900
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
784
01:21:37,350 --> 01:21:43,438
Kim Hildreth:
If you needed to stand up for yourself, what else? Or be like, no, this is not happening or fight for some reason.
785
01:21:43,584 --> 01:21:46,118
Kim Hildreth:
That's life, in my opinion.
786
01:21:46,154 --> 01:21:48,190
Kim Hildreth:
It's just like part of who you are.
787
01:21:48,240 --> 01:21:56,074
Kim Hildreth:
But now I think it's going to be a grander philosophical volleyball question to get some different opinions on.
788
01:21:56,232 --> 01:21:58,694
Mark Burik:
Love to hear from anyone who's listening.
789
01:21:58,802 --> 01:22:05,340
Mark Burik:
If there's a comment section anywhere on this, this is for the audience out there.
790
01:22:05,850 --> 01:22:23,846
Mark Burik:
Do you think that the way somebody competes on their court, whatever sport it is, do you think that that is an accurate reflection of who they are as a person and how they would react? Interpersonally? I'd love to hear everybody's thoughts.
791
01:22:23,858 --> 01:22:32,314
Mark Burik:
So if you guys want to check that into the comments and share some stories and share some opinions, would love to hear about that and see some different things.
792
01:22:32,352 --> 01:22:34,270
Mark Burik:
So go ahead, everybody start typing.
793
01:22:34,770 --> 01:22:35,520
Mark Burik:
Yeah.
794
01:22:35,850 --> 01:22:38,758
Kim Hildreth:
I'm interested to see what people, different people think about that.
795
01:22:38,904 --> 01:22:40,126
Mark Burik:
Yeah, we'll be.
796
01:22:40,308 --> 01:22:46,246
Mark Burik:
Kim, I got to say, this is one of the most awesome talks I've had in a long time.
797
01:22:46,428 --> 01:22:47,160
Mark Burik:
Absolutely.
798
01:22:47,670 --> 01:22:59,054
Mark Burik:
Pleasure to get to know you a little bit more, to hear your expertise and your thoughts and opinions and your knowledge on all of the interpersonal skills and your volleyball path.
799
01:22:59,162 --> 01:23:04,942
Mark Burik:
And we didn't really even dive into the whole 15 questions that I sent you.
800
01:23:05,016 --> 01:23:05,760
Mark Burik:
I know.
801
01:23:07,170 --> 01:23:11,650
Mark Burik:
That's why I said when we loosely converse around those questions, it's very loose.
802
01:23:12,150 --> 01:23:12,514
Mark Burik:
Yes.
803
01:23:12,552 --> 01:23:14,810
Kim Hildreth:
Hey, I'm here for good conversations anytime.
804
01:23:14,870 --> 01:23:16,690
Kim Hildreth:
I think it was super interesting to hear.
805
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:20,278
Kim Hildreth:
I always think it's interesting to hear different perspectives on this stuff, for sure.
806
01:23:20,424 --> 01:23:20,842
Mark Burik:
Yeah.
807
01:23:20,916 --> 01:23:22,798
Mark Burik:
Well, I'd love to have you on again.
808
01:23:22,884 --> 01:23:28,634
Mark Burik:
If you have anywhere where people should reach out to you, I would love to share it with our audience.
809
01:23:28,802 --> 01:23:29,278
Kim Hildreth:
Yeah.
810
01:23:29,364 --> 01:23:31,774
Kim Hildreth:
My website is listed on the bottom of the screen here.
811
01:23:31,812 --> 01:23:41,114
Kim Hildreth:
Health coaching with Kim.com is a great way to kind of learn more about my business and what I do and I do a lot of mindset and life and health coaching.
812
01:23:41,162 --> 01:23:46,606
Kim Hildreth:
It's kind of like all one because I believe that people are like kind of what we were just saying.
813
01:23:46,668 --> 01:23:49,370
Kim Hildreth:
I really believe that every part of you is connected.
814
01:23:49,430 --> 01:23:55,500
Kim Hildreth:
So if you're struggling with your nutrition or the way that you're moving is usually like why people come to me in the first place.
815
01:23:56,850 --> 01:24:06,406
Kim Hildreth:
In my experience, a lot of the reasons why is because there's other stuff in your life that really is aligned and going well and I think I'm pretty good at helping people problems, all of that.
816
01:24:06,468 --> 01:24:08,566
Kim Hildreth:
So that's kind of what I do for a living.
817
01:24:08,628 --> 01:24:11,710
Kim Hildreth:
I do one on one coaching sometimes.
818
01:24:11,760 --> 01:24:14,806
Kim Hildreth:
I do group coaching or team coaching if anybody is interested.
819
01:24:14,928 --> 01:24:18,720
Kim Hildreth:
It's a cool thing about having your own business is it gets to be whatever you want it to be.
820
01:24:19,770 --> 01:24:27,490
Mark Burik:
I've had a lot of fun with that and Instagram is always available for those who are listening and not being able to see the screen.
821
01:24:27,540 --> 01:24:31,620
Mark Burik:
It's healthcoachingwithkim.com.
822
01:24:32,250 --> 01:24:35,438
Mark Burik:
Everything is spelled exactly how you would expect it to be spelled.
823
01:24:35,474 --> 01:24:37,954
Mark Burik:
Healthcoachingwithkim.com.
824
01:24:38,052 --> 01:24:38,314
Mark Burik:
Okay.
825
01:24:38,352 --> 01:24:51,490
Kim Hildreth:
And your Instagram Instagram is just Kim hildrom has a link to my company on there as well and you're happy to respond to DMs from anybody how I do a lot of my coaching and outreach for people too.
826
01:24:51,540 --> 01:24:54,334
Kim Hildreth:
So yeah, those are my two mains right there.
827
01:24:54,492 --> 01:24:55,066
Mark Burik:
Awesome.
828
01:24:55,188 --> 01:24:56,026
Mark Burik:
Kim, thank you so much.
829
01:24:56,088 --> 01:24:57,130
Mark Burik:
Really appreciate it.
830
01:24:57,240 --> 01:25:01,186
Mark Burik:
Hope you have a great day and good luck this season kicks in.
831
01:25:01,188 --> 01:25:01,346
Mark Burik:
Butte.
832
01:25:01,358 --> 01:25:01,920
Mark Burik:
Thanks.
833
01:25:03,750 --> 01:25:05,570
Mark Burik:
Seeing you play some Kim Hild with volleyball.
834
01:25:05,630 --> 01:25:06,360
Kim Hildreth:
Me too.
835
01:25:07,650 --> 01:25:08,158
Mark Burik:
Awesome.
836
01:25:08,244 --> 01:25:09,650
Mark Burik:
Have a great day, bye.